Chris Hooley’s -ThinkBait-

When I first got into SEO and SEM, my motivation was 1 part money and 5 parts making a name for myself. You probably already know my M.O. - I am THE Constant Self Promoter. Teachers called me disruptive, my peers called me an “attention whore” (along with a host of other profanities, depending on the day), my parents called me “driven”, “loud”, or “a ham”. It doesn’t matter what you call it, the fact is people who are like me, marketers, where born to attain the spotlight. And speaking at conferences is just one way people like me can validate themselves.

Let me just restate that and start another paragrach with it… Marketers where born to attain the spotlight. Now hold that thought.

In no particular order, here are the reasons SEOs love to speak at conferences:

• Self Validation - It is typical human behavior to seek approval by being recognized by a social group, particularly one that a person associates with or strives to be a part of.
• Money - Some get paid to speak, but that’s not really where the money is. The more you speak, the higher premium you can ask for when landing clients.
• Chicks - I haven’t seen an actual female girl get hot for a dude who preached all there is to know about URL cannonicalization. But I bet conference groupies exist, and I bet there are some opportunistic SEOs who have wielded their badges to score some ‘tang. And on the flip side, girls can prolly land douchebags dudes as well, if they got that speaking mojo working for them.
• Ego - Being respected or acknowledged for anything , no matter what your field, gives people a boost in self confidence. Just admit it, it feels good. In fact, just slide this bullet right under Self Validation and minimize the rest of the bullets, because IMO that’s really the main factor.
• Your Boss Told You To - There are a couple firms that make a pretty good revenue stream from speaking gigs… they take talented, likable people, and show them all there is to know. Next thing you know, their firm is represented in all kinds of conferences, not just the big ones.
• Free Drinks - It’s awesome when you have fanboys loading you up all week. Extend your hand while at any conference bar, and BOOM! Magically you have a fresh cold beer.

From the time I wrote my first blog post till now, I’ve held a secret that I never told anybody. I wanted to speak at conferences too. Feels good to finally get that out. I wanted the stage, the notoriety, and the approval of my peers. I wanted people to know who I am. And I wanted to shape what they know about me, my talking smart into a microphone while people write stuff down.

In my quest to feed my alpha male ego, I went on to start numerous joke bands just so I could be on stage. I posted inflammatory comments on blogs and forums just to get people going. And I made a *lot* of noise at conferences while others polished their professionalism and furthered their careers right in front of me.

Oddly enough I never had the guts to pursue the whole speaking thing. I was like that awkward teenage boy who likes that one girl but is afraid to talk to her. I never put one ounce into attempting to land a speaking gig. I felt like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy when he explains his salesmanship to the waitress. “I pet the speaking gig, I love the speaking gig, I squish the speaking gig, AAAHHHHHH I killed it! I killed my speaking gig!”

Do you want to know the reason I never pursued it? Honestly, I think my frail alpha male ego couldn’t take the rejection if I didn’t make it. I was afraid to look like that guy who tried to do it and failed. So I went about my business, being loud and noticed, but in a different (albeit more idiotic) way. Plus, I spoke at this one seminar and even though I think I did pretty good, I didn’t like the nervous feeling. It actually wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be. But I did feel self important, which was cool I guess.

I’m seeing a lot of SEOs, especially a lot of new kids on the block, getting out there and getting known. I remember that feeling. But now, I’m at a different stage in my career. I’m no longer afraid to talk about my secret crush on the idea of speaking at conferences, because I actually don’t really care for the idea anymore. I’ll just leave that to the people who are already pretty darn good at it. My focus is a little different now.

My girlfriend feeds my ego. My job makes me money. I don’t need chicks anymore; I have the one I want. My ego is big enough already, and I don’t need free drinks. In fact, I’d be glad to buy one for you!

And for the record, let me be 100% clear about my intentions here… I JUST WANT TO PWN MY MARKETS.

Damn it feels good to be a self actualized web marketing gangsta! (and feel free to speak about this post at your next gig eh?)

While perusing some of the premium content over at SEOmoz for some new nuggets, I found the answer. The magic bullet. The ONE thing I need on my blog to harness the sheer link power of the internet.

And this was the result:

Now, I just sit back and wait for the ranks to ROLL right in! Thanks Mozzers!!

You know the importance of themes, relevant content, and relevant website links. But do you understand the value of staying relevant offline, or even what that means?

Ask yourself this question: Are YOU really relevant?

Does your website properly reflect who YOU are, who your company IS? If the answer is no, you might be trying to rank for the wrong phrase. You might not be transparent. You might be faking it, and it’s only a matter of time before everybody, including Google, figures that out.

Google knows who I am. Lately, I haven’t been the crazy guy at conferences that many of you have come to know me as, because now I am a corporate SEO. I was relevant to conference junkie SEO types, with loud stunts and what not. Now I don’t even make the list, where less than a year ago I was a shoe in.

Why do YOU that is? Is it because I don’t blog like I used to? Is it because I am no longer whoring all the blogs and forums? Is it because I am underground, or maybe even the exact opposite of that? Sold out?

The answer is simple. Lately my focus has been on my business, my corporate SEO gig, and my family. This is where I am relevant now. I rank for phrases that ARE relevant for me, and for my business. I’m not going to rank for SEO Blogger, SEO Blog, Captain Thundercock (yet) because I am currently more focused, thus relevant, in different areas.

The new key is transparency. 5 years ago links could be programmed or harvested rather easily, today you have to be who and what you are talking about. It’s easier that way anyways.

Don’t chase a false dream. You don’t wanna be that guy. Be the guy who IS what you SAY you are, even off-page, and the rest will be easier.

For y’all who didn’t know, NextStudent is having a web design contest worth $2,000 for the winner. I was thinking… (which hurt a little but I digress) this project is actually pretty web 2.0-ish. Think about it… Here’s some neat buzzwords and how the relate to NextStudent’s current web design project:

• U.G.C. - User Generated Content: Dude, the DESIGN for our company’s new makeover will be generated by the PEOPLE! That’s soooo social!
• Social Voting: The PUBLIC can VOTE on the design they want to see as the new face of NextStudent
• Blog: The NextStudent Redesign Contest Website is actually “just another wordpress weblog!” (that’s a play on words for the default blog description in WP, in case ya didn’t know)
• S.M.O. - Social Media Optimization: The winner of the contest with get a link on NextStudent.com, but more importantly all accepted design submissions can get a link on the design site itself and on my blog and a few other mentions. Blog links are sooo what S.M.O. is about!
• Networking: Everybody who participates is AUTOMATICALLY my best friend. Unless you hate me in which case you don’t have to actually be my friend. Ok that aint much of a prize but who cares I wanted to put it in there.
• Money: Ok not exactly 2.0, money is pretty old school but you can still make a bunch of it ($2,000) if you win the contest!
• Awesome: Hell yeah it is. And you ah too.

So hey do me a favor eh, tell some people about this contest. Especially if you think they’ll participate OR talk about it (especailly if they talk about it on their blogs and stuff, that’s always awesome)

w0rd.

The only thing that could possibly be more Irish for the SEM community is moving the SES to Boston… check that, I guess you could have it in IRELAND, but I digress…

NEW YORK FUCKIN’ CITY! S.E.S. Pub Crawl! St. Patrick’s Day!! I don’t know what YOUR plans are, but if you’re a REAL web marketer, you’re probably a party animal like the rest of us. If you’re a REAL party animal, you probably like pubs and pub crawls. If you REALLY like pubs or pub crawls, you’re probably Irish (and even if you aren’t you still pretend you are on St. Patty’s Day).

Here’s the deal, there is a prefect intersection of BAD ASS happening this Monday, in New York Fuckin’ City. I don’t know what YOUR plans are yet but drop them cuz the real bad asses in our industry will be doing ONE THING ONLY. And that’s whoopin’ it up, drinking green beer and Guinness (or Irish Whiskey if you’re extremely bad ass), and talking about how awesome Chris Hooley is during the S.E.S. Pub Crawl!

More details to come, but be ready mofos!

Being a single dad means wearing a lot of hats. Dad, mom, chef, doctor, teacher, coach, and sometimes when I am lucky, activity coordinator. Being in charge of the activities means I don’t have to play house, have a tea party, or pretend I am a Disney prince… all activities that I grin and bear with a smile, none of which I am particularly fond of (especially being the Prince, I keep telling her if she’s the Princess, I am the KING!)

After a while, I’ve started to figure out some ways to spend time with my kiddo while maintaining some semblance of manliness AND getting some exercise at the same time. It helps that she’s almost 5 now and is able to partake in more vigorous activities but I digress. Here are 7 great active ideas for Dad’s with little girls who like me, don’t have enough time to both play with the kiddo and get in their daily exercise!

1) Weight Lifting - Daddy Style

Daddy Style weightlifting means your weights are… your kid! It’s free, requires no travel, and it can be done right on your living room floor. My daughter loves to be bench pressed, curled, lifted, leg lifted, etc. We also take turns with sets. She tries bench pressing my arm or leg, and tests her strength. It’s a great way to teach your daughter how to exercise, and to motivate her to try harder or challenge herself. The only problem I’ve encountered in getting a real workout here is that she’s only 45 pounds. I can’t exactly mass build when benching a toddler.

2) Pretend Wrestling

This one is the easiest; and again this one’s free! Kids love to be “roughed up” as long as you aren’t actually rough at all. It’s also the perfect time to teach appropriate boundaries. We have tons of fun pretending we are boxers or professional wrestlers while we pretend to punch, block, kick, or grapple in ways that don’t hurt your “opponent”. I’ll often lift her up over my head pretending I tossed her out of the ring, while slowly lowering her to the ground and pretend shouting “nooooooo!” Gives me a little of that healthy muscle burn, and give her a laugh from being suspended in mid air.

3) Karaoke Dance Parties

This activity isn’t exactly free since it requires music… and for my reputation’s sake this can only be done if the blinds are closed. But this is one of my guilty pleasure and secretly one of my favorites.

I have a playlist on my iPod that has a ton of 80s music (with no swears of course!) sprinkled in with some Hannah Montana and a few No Doubt songs for good measure. We crank up the iPod dock and use one of her brushes as a microphone and we pretend to do concerts for her dolls, or we’ll even make up silly dance routines. I use this opportunity to dance like a maniac, bordering physical comedy. She laughs like a maniac, bordering asthma attacks.  However if the general population ever saw this, there would be a lot more crying than laughing… either from me, or those watching it.

4) Playing the Wii

This might be the manliest activity on my list. What guy doesn’t like video games? Especially ones their 4-5 year old daughter likes too! When we play Wii bowling, to increase the healthy factor, we pretend to run down the isle just like real bowling and we even jump when we release the ball. It doesn’t help my accuracy much, but at least we’re getting active and having some fun.

5) Going Out “Discovering”

The outdoors can be fantastical to a child-if they have the right guide. We’ll walk down the street and I’ll help her climb random objects pretending they are something from out of this world. Sometimes we’ll find a trail and climb hills, large rocks, or small mountains and pretend we’re discovering new lands.  Sometimes I’ll even let her load up her wagon with dolls and we went for a walk around the block pretending we were tour guides.

6) Target Jumping

This one is a real hit with the kids.  All you gotta do is set “targets” around the house or outside.  I often use my finger against a wall or a washable marker.  Set your targets at various heights just near the top of your daughter’s max jumping height.  Give her a route around the house, and she must touch or slap each target.  If the target is too high, lower it a bit.  Too low?  Add another higher one.  Use your watch like a stop watch and time her like it’s an obstacle course (I often make up times and keep yelling “GO GO GO! You’re Gonna Break the Record!”.  20 minutes of this and she’ll be napping in no time!

There are a bunch of variations in this game, where you can follow her around the “course” and hit your own targets, or if your daughter has friends over you can line them all up and use your finger against the wall and adjust for each of their jumping abilities.   If you’re tired, just lean against the wall and set various targets with your hand or finger.  If you wanna rev up, get outside and make it challenging for both of you.  You’d be surprised at how much fun your little one will have with this one.

7) Tasting Parties

A tasting party is when you choose a couple of new foods (we usually do exotic fruits) and see what they taste like.  I usually take my daughter to the grocery store so we can look at different fruits and vegetables to figure out which we would like to try that day.  Then we take them home, wash them together, and prepare them to be served (I usually handle anything that has to do with a knife!)  Then we set our plates, and take turns tasting things and explaining what they taste like.  This is a perfect way to refuel after some exhausting play time AND to replace junk food snacks with healthier alternatives.

8) BONUS ACTIVITY: Take a nap!

Because both you and your kid are probably worn out now!

If anybody else knows of any other healthy activities for Dads and Daughters, comment here and let me know what YOU do.  I’m always looking for new ways to bond with my kid and keep that Daddy Belly in check!  Plus, this could be a good resource for people who started like me, having NO IDEA how to raise a little girl.  Single dads (like me) especially could probably use a little guidance sometimes.

Web Marketing at NextStudent. For those who don’t already know, I am Chris Hooley, Corporate SEO, and the guy who runs the NextStudent Web Marketing Department. Just thought I’d get that part out of the way so this post didn’t seem so random…

It’s been a crazy year in Student Loan Land, with the big banks and federal government putting the shake down on student lenders (at the expense of students, and much to the chagrin of financial aid officers). Kids are going to have a tough time finding money to pay for school this upcoming semester because of the perfect storm of bad legislation, tough credit markets, and a virtually lifeless capital market. Big banks are looking at this as a boon, a perfect opportunity to swallow up market share. So they are spending MORE despite the fact that the loans are losing them lots of money right now. I’m even watching them trying to work their SEO, and (cough! choke) get social.

Imagine that, fighting off the big banks with deep pockets every day… Feels like Rocky vs. the steroid guy from Russia.

Well fortunately for NextStudent (and all borrowers who find out how great we are!) the Web Marketing Team is holding it down. We’re the big guys around here on the interwebs! We’ve been training like Sly Stallone and we’ll never give up! Get off my Google B of A. Keep up the Chase, Wells F. The web is My Citi!

Ok enough of the bad plays on words. It’s Saturday Night, I should save the bad jokes for my attempt at getting social (aka going to Santisi Bros. with some buddies).

The deal is, the webmarketing team at NextStudent is a powerhouse. We’re more than strong at all of our core competencies, we’re a collective ROCKY. You might be able to get some licks in, but we never give up and we are always on the top. The people I work with are some of the slickest, smartest, and most motivated people I’ve ever met. All aspects of our web marketing repertoire are handled by the best and the brightest. We’re corporate, we’re out there, and we’re helping define the edge that bigger guys can hardly even fathom. Good luck monetary monoliths. BRING IT ON!!!

Rocky - OUT!

Chris Hooley Talks Chris Hooley, SEO, and Awesomeness in General

That.  Just. Happened.

It’s election year… time for smoke and mirrors!

I was hoping to catch some ESPN before heading to work, and instead of seeing “The Plays of the Week” I am watching a congressional hearing.  About baseball.  Not Iraq.  Not the recession.  Not about the so called “Economic Stimulus Package”.  About BASEBALL.

And two weeks ago, we had senators snooping around NFL Football.

And a few years ago we had all the media talking about a blow job.

Wanna know why they are talking about this stuff?  So the masses don’t look closer at what’s really going on… like the “War of Terror”.  The fact that the Democrats screwed up student loans so bad that kids won’t be able to get into school this upcoming fall.   The fact that Republicans screwed up consumer finance so bad that people can’t buy houses.  The fact that our dollar is doing so bad that vacation spots won’t even accept it any longer.

We’re going to hell in a handbasket here folks.  Hold on tight, times is gonna get real rough!

Maybe we should be doing one of our world famous “pre-emptive strikes” on a few select morons who are running this country into the ground…

Yahoo! - “chasing Google and frustrating users since 1998″ (TM)

I bought a premier flickr account and I haven’t been able to log in for MONTHS. Why? Because they switched log in systems, and nobody inside flickr is responding to my desperate pleas for help. I paid good money for my premier account, and I can’t even manage MY OWN PHOTOS. Photos that rank well in search engines for MY OWN NAME. I am helpless to remove some personal pictures that I no longer really want up there… photos that I paid to manage on their site.

You might ask “Chris, why did you take so long to blog about this? The most recent pictures are like 6 months old!” - You’re right. I forgot all about how mad I was about flickr until I decided to log into MyBlogLog account, which again prompted me to use a new log in that I don’t even have. Now I can’t get in there either.

Now I’m frustrated as hell trying to create a new Yahoo! ID, but my name is already taken (likely by some spam bot since there are only a handful of Chris Hooleys in the world). And once I settle on a user name that I don’t even want, I have no idea how to get those linked to my flickr and MyBlogLog accounts. It’s just stupid. And typical.

Hopefully somebody from Yahoo! reads this post and can get me some kind of help… but I doubt it.

In the meantime, my iGoogle, GMail, Adwords, Adsense, Optimizer, and bazillion other Google gadgets I am using are still working flawlessly. An I have Googlers calling me pretty frequently (even got a Googler visit coming soon) to make sure everything is still working. Just thought I’d throw that out there…

I’ve never actually been to Affiliate Summit.  I’ve had a few people offer discounts to get into the event (I can’t for the life of me recall who was offering me passes, if you still exist HIT ME UP!)  I’m still teetering on the edge here.  Should I go?  Should I bring my affiliate peeps?

As for the Elite Retreat, people already know I am a HUGE advocate of this event.   If you are thinking of going and you need some info about it, feel free to contact me directly.  I’ll gladly explain why I am such a huge fan and what it has done for me personally.   If you are defintely going and you haven’t bought your tickets yet, hook a brother up and buy it through my affiliate link so I can make a few bucks!

I have so much to say about my experience but the pain is too strong to write it all right now. But like every dark cloud, even THE Biggest Disappointment in Sports History had a shining moment for me. I was on TV! Watch the clip and relish my huge fame and instant popularity!

Wow, that movie was terrific eh? Send all movie script roles to me via my contact page!

Anybody need some? I can get them to you at the last minute. I live in AZ. There are very few of these bad boys left on the planet!

(I just magically turned into a ticket broker!!)

I can’t believe it… I’m having daily heart palpitations. I am going to be there when history is made. I am going to the biggest football game ever. Ever. This is the year Tom Brady and the Patriots make history!!

I’ll be in section 406 row 10. Watch for me on TV, I’m gonna do my best to hog the camera for at least one second to cement my immortality too. I’m high up, so the camera won’t likley be buzzing around where I sit, but my HELMET will insure that even if I am on for ONE GLIMPSE that I will be easy to spot.

Go Patriots! This is the biggest event I have ever headed to. I feel like I am going to explode!!

I bet those guys over at Ed Loan Funding (another Student Loan Consolidation Company in S.D.) are NOT partying it up right now.

WAY TO GO PATRIOTS!!!

Tired of all those pesky readers on your blog?  Sick of all that annoying traffic?  Had enough of building a community, getting links, or comments on your blog posts?  Well I have a revolutionary solution!  It’s simple, easy, and FAST!  It’s a secret I’ve utilized on several occasions; EVERY time it resulted in a drop in traffic, subscribers, readers and all those other problems that come with owning a popular blog.

The secret?  *looks both ways* sshhhhhh…. (it’s easy, just stop writing for a while).  60% of the time it works EVERY time!

If you’re a fan of Tom Brady, or funny random blogging, go check out Tom Brady Secrets. HILARIOUS stuff!

FYI- Jeff Dempsey contributed a ton to this blog, which is probably why it is so funny!